Earlier this year, the theatre community lost a wonderful man... Bryan Lea. He was a local stagehand and really an all-around beautiful person, very dear to the Phantom family.
The 12 Days of Christmas
A Miraculous Blessing for our Family at Christmas
One sunny day in April of this year, my beautiful husband Bryan died suddenly of a heart attack.
My little boys and I had great faith in God, and we had managed to be strong together. I was fortunate to stay home with them throughout the year; to talk about
When the Advent season began, however, the boys started to miss their dad terribly. Their hearts were crumbling, and my resolve began to weaken. Would Christmas for us become a time to hold back our tears with gritted teeth?
In 12 days, all this changed, and we celebrated one of the greatest Christmases ever.
Here is a story of the true meaning of advent; how the families from St. Viator’s church turned our lives around this Christmas.
Day 1: A Partridge in a Pear Tree
Early one cloudy morning, James and Matthew were snuggled up in bed with me, quiet and sad. I had told several funny daddy stories, and was trying to sing them the 12 Days of Christmas, when the doorbell rang.
We all stumbled out toward the front door. No-one was there, but our eyes were drawn down to the ground, where there was a beautiful ceramic bowl filled with brown Bosc pears. Puzzled, we picked the bowl up, and discovered a package behind it. Inside was a note that said:
It’s the 12 Days of Christmas, and were sending this card,
To tell you we know that this year may be hard.
Some people who care want to help out a bit,
And share some joy and some Christmas Spirit.
So count down the 12 days of Christmas with us! It starts today. For 12 days, a bit of cheer will arrive, so please check by your door.
There were also little gifts: a Christmas ornament, and (pairs) of gloves and slippers for each of us.
All this was unusual. But the idea of not knowing who had come, and the promise of 11 more days of surprises ..that seemed pretty special! A little blue cross I hung by
Day Two: Two Turtle Doves
Strangely, I was the one peeking out the window the next morning. I hadn't realized how much this was lifting my spirits too. Nothing came early, so we left. Even though the day was not without its bitter moments, I could much more easily shift the boys back to good spirits by asking..." I wonder when the surprise will come? Will it come tonight, when we get home?" Sure enough, we got home at about
At the door was a beautiful white porcelain advent display, set with doves. There were the pink and purple candles, with advent calendars, a few hundred (turtle) Dove chocolates, and dove ornaments. We lit the candles and prayed together. We decorated the tree. I cherish that advent display! I love the fact that the virtues of peace, hope, joy, and love are inscribed where each candle sits.
I began to suspect that this could not just be the work of one friend. Perhaps our Cub Scout group?
Day 3: Three French Hens
Because of hints from the card on day 2, I knew that dinner would be arriving on day three.
Now I must say that I am a bit of a food snob. I love to cook and throw dinner parties. My expectations on dinner were low,…time is scarce at Christmas. It was enough not to have to cook for a change. I figured it might be a pizza, so I kept my dinner plans on with my neighbor Janet.
I was in no way prepared for what arrived at the door. A Frenchman singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” and his helpers brought a feast fit for a princess, and that is how I felt that night!
Everything was wrapped in gold bows and beautiful packages, and labeled in French. There were "3 French hens," French beans, sparkling cider, very, very good French wine, roasted rosemary potatoes, baguette, croissants, coffee, and the best pear tart I have ever had. As a matter of fact, that tart might possibly be the best desert I have ever had, quite seriously Beyond that, everything hen related...stuffed hens, talking chicks, coupons to chicken restaurants, chicken books, chicken masks, chicken ornaments. The dining table (and a large one at that,) was awash in a glorious mountain of gold ribbon and papers and toys. It was just magical!
I called up Janet and explained that she needed to come over and see what was going on. She and her son Tam arrived, and the five of us began to sample everything. Soon our neighbor Chuck came over and joined us. ! Do you know that we never even cleared all the paper or ribbons or bags off the table! It was too wonderful to disturb. We ate right in the middle of it all, and left nothing except for one hen!
What an amazing night that was! How different it left me feeling! It wasn't like charity...as if someone was sorry for my troubles. It was like an occasion set up by a dear, dear friend to celebrate the wonder of life. I went to bed happy, and thoughtful.
I will never see charity again through the same eyes. Thank you for celebrating my life instead of pitying me. I did not feel sorry for myself or my children that night. I am indeed thankful for this wisdom.
Day 4: 4 Cawing Birds?
As we drove home in the dark of the evening, we saw four mysterious costumed folks in beautiful feathered bird masks and Marti-Gras cloaks on our doorstep cawing at us. They gave us an elegant, hand-crafted wreath with 4 Calling Birds woven into it, and warlike talkies, so the boys could caw to each other.
It is hard not to recognize old friends, even when they are dressed like birds and are cawing in the dark. Therefore, we invited them in, and took up the dictionary to figure out what a "Calling Bird" really was.
According to the internet, a Colly bird is a Black Bird. Coal-ie. Coal-ie Birds were very popular delicacies then. Think Blackbirds baked in a pie. They represented the 4 evangelists, who were cawing (proclaiming) the gospel.
Day Five: Five Golden Rings
On day 5 Golden Rings, a huge snow storm descended upon
Yet, in all this, day 5 arrived by car! James caught sight of them as they were leaving. He raced outside in shorts and a T-shirt, but could not catch them.
How could they come out in all of this? What dedication! We had expected nothing, and yet, someone had put our little family before their own this night.
As we sat around eating the "golden rings;" (a mountain of doughnuts and bagels, each in its own shiny cellophane Christmas wrapping,) Matthew suddenly spoke out ”Also mom, the rings are the gold napkin rings holding the beautiful red linens!" Sure enough, he was right! How rich the gold was against the red!
Day 6: 6 Geese a-Laying
This day was just pure fun! Our basket was filled with candies, nuts and little toys, all attached to 6 large gold and silver eggs. The clever part, though, was the pair of silly straws, with a plastic egg squeezed inside the twisty part. After stealing all the jelly beans out of the silver and gold eggs, the boys were happy enough to donate them toward the adornment of the Christmas tree, while they devised a new use for the silly straws.
Yes, in true boy fashion, James and Matthew discovered that if they held the twisty, plastic egg part, and pointed the straw part that you drink from in the right direction, they would have a very cool sword. A fine war followed, with these weapons of choice joining them in bed that night.
Day 7: 7 Swans a swimming
All day yesterday, our family pondered the 7 Swans a Swimming. What could you do with that? Around
What I wanted to tell him, was that I knew it was still a school day at St. Viator's. I had often thought about how much time all the families involved in this project had dedicated. I marveled that it must be incredibly challenging to have Christmas coming on, get the kids from school, take care of the family, and still find the time to create these works of art that have been arriving. I worried some for the family, not wanting them to feel overtaxed. I felt a bit like I had been stood up on a date. I realized that it was just getting to be too late, and that it really was not going to happen.
We all went to bed.
As I lay down and was drifting off to sleep, I realized that I hadn't locked up the house or the car. I didn't want to get up, but finally threw on some boots and a robe, and went outside. I worked my way through the snow, and finished my errand. Though half asleep, I liked the bracing feel of the cold night air. As I came toward the house, there on the doorstep was a huge, magnificent, paper-white swan! It was made of hundreds of sheets of toilet paper stuffed painstakingly into every crevice of a large wicker basket to form the swan’s body, with a neck, head, and beak fashioned out of towels. The body was filled with all sorts of bath things for the three of us: foaming crayons, wash away soap paint, bubble bath, body wash, spay cans of bath soap, silly string soap, rubber duck, soap disks, exploding soap!
How had I missed it when I walked out the door? Had it been there all along? It surely was still day 7, 11:30ish at night. They had come after all, and had probably needed the extra time simply to finish it! They were late because they were working so hard on it, I guessed. I brought the swan in, and sat it in the foyer, and I grabbed a nearby rocking chair. I sat and I rocked, and I thought about what investing time in others truly meant..
Day 8: 8 Maids a-Milking
We arrived home late this evening, and saw that the maids had been busy. It was the first time that I'd had the milk delivered to the door since I was a little girl, when we all still had the metal milk-box sitting on the front porch.
There was milk, and chocolate milk, soy milk, and eggnog, kefir, and ice cream....oh, and beautiful ice cream bowls in different sizes, and ice cream cups. I had never tried kefir, and the boys tried eggnog for the first time (and loved it.)
I pondered things that night, and decided that, strengthened, I would go and sit closer to some of the people that I suspected were helping with all this...the school?...perhaps the Devotions Ministry...was the whole church itself involved?
We went to mass, and we still struggled, but I did not cry in church today!
Day 9: 9 Ladies Dancing
Today, the doorbell rang, and we raced downstairs to see what would happen. Scattered about were perhaps 25 men, women, and children, with a group of moms in matching red and black outfits striking a dance pose in the street! Someone hit the boom box, and the music started. Would you believe that the men and the children watched, while the ladies tap danced a full routine? In the street. In tap shoes. In the Winter. With bits of snow still underfoot! How courageous! How wonderful! I mean, these women are the backbone of our church,...mature, well dressed, formal, elegant! And with only 2 months or so of tap experience, once or twice a week, they pull off a rousing tap routine! It was great! The porch was filled with presents for the boys, and for me...including event tickets, gift certificates, blaster guns, candy, and of course, a Barbie doll ballerina Christmas tree ornament!
Today, my neighbor Chuck was out watching all the activity. The enthusiasm has been catching, and more and more families have been checking in to find out "what happened today?" The grace of the project is literally spilling out into the street...with many people getting an intimate look at the wonderful works of Catholic charity.
Day
Tickets today to the Nevada Ballet’s Nutcracker, to see 10 Lords a-leaping around the stage!
I think one of the reasons that all this has been so successful is that I haven't had time to really think about anything very much. We find ourselves at the end of each day, jazzed up, surprised, excited, and looking forward to the next day. The boys are excited for Christmas.
I am beginning to think that I might be able to attend the Christmas Eve mass! I had decided to stay home so that I wouldn’t fall apart that night.
Day: 11 Pipers Piping
Today was fun! In the morning, we found two musical pipes at the door, and a CD of Scottish bagpipes.
What no-one could know is that
So every several years, I would run into the bagpipes in the back of the closet, and drag them out, along with a mournful "bagpipe for beginners" CD, and Bryan would blow on them, and we'd play the CD, and jump up and down around the house, amusing each other with our very worst impressions of Michael Flatly in Lord of the Dance.
After listening to the entire CD, and freaking out the household pets and my neighbor Ed by blowing shrilly and relentlessly on the pipes, we went about the day.
The pipers came again at night, boldly sneaking up at
At first, the children were delighted to find that by playing the black pipe, their voices amplified, and could echo. Soon, however, I was dismayed to hear that the pipes were quite capable of producing all sorts of loud farting variations as well. I kept trying to correct them, but was laughing too hard to pull it off.
When we went to bed, the boys wondered..."so, after tomorrow all the 12 days of Christmas will end."
I gave them the answer that they had grown to love. "Yeah, but what do you think will happen tomorrow?"
Day 12: Twelve drummers drumming.
After the past 11 days, we were full. What I mean by that, is that the empty space that hung around us earlier in the month had been sort of filled up, and we were flowing over with excitement, anticipation, love, and joy. Funny, as I write this, to recall that the advent season is here to do just that; focus on peace, hope, joy, and love...according to my new advent wreath from day 2!
I don’t think there is anything else left that could have been done for us. We had had it all, and the wonder of it had gone on so long that we had really come to believe in it, accept it, and be immeasurably thrilled with it all. I was so overwhelmed that my brain could not hold on to any problems, any more.
So by the time that everyone involved in this over the past 12 days formed a parade and came marching throughout the neighborhood, drumming on drums, clapping, and singing out “The 12 Days of Christmas” while carrying huge gifts for us, it seemed like a family reunion! Everyone came to a stop on our door step. When everything quieted down, we looked at each other, face to face.
Some of the families were good friends at church, and some I knew from chatting at Sunday mass. Some I did not know at all! But we looked at each other, not with concern, or gratitude for the help, but with a joy and acknowledgement that I had never experienced before…That moment was almost like the snowy night several days earlier, when all was right, and all was well.
I had time then to find out who had prepared each day, and to hear their stories about being chased down the block by James, what the different gifts meant to them, and how they coordinated phone calls and events to make sure that everything was timed out properly. It seemed, even if I did not know them personally before, like we were all dear old friends.
I went to Christmas mass that night, and no-one was pitying me. Rather, they looked at me with delight, seeing my face shining with love and the awesome spirit of Christmas.
